you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize