got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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