Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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