If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
