Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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