Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
