You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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