I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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