I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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