No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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