I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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