I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
