I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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