i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
