idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
