I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
