dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
