My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize