Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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