I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
