i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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