there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
