On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.