so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...