so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
