I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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