So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize