Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
