I'm gonna have a badass scar
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I want a musical about memes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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