Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
