She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
