I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize