I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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