Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
