are you so shy because you have an std?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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