i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Randomize
