it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?