wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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