Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
