it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
