When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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