if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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