She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
