would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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