By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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