Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
