i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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