come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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