Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
two words...techno handjob
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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