either way he was missing a nipple.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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