i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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