When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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