i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
