she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
