Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize