i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
